END...

a heart breaking end for an expected happy ending story... well wad can i say, like is unfair at times..

is this one of the experiences that i have to go through in life... am i to learn something from it... if this was supposedly a lesson, damn it is the most fucked up lesson i can ever learn..
you know wads the most funny part, it would be the end of 4 months tomorrow... haha 4 months... the amount of happiness that i have experienced in this 4 months have been more than the amount of happiness i have experienced in the 18 years of my life. and needless to say, its the same case for the sadness, disappointed, hate, anger, pain and everything... dont you get it... its not meant to be... its like putting together and orange and an apple.. no matter how much the apple says i can become an orange, it can NEVE be an orange... it will neve be the same.. tell me something, how long do you think i can live with the hope.. i have to move on in life.. i am 19 and i have to take the opportunities that come by me... if i keep holding on to you, than i will not be moving anywhere in life.. i know i will regret one day.. thatz for certain... but again, i made a mistake to begin with, i should not have played with your feelings.. its my fault.. and i am really sorry... i know sorry is nothing.. you don need a sorry, but i see not way out... you tell me things will get bette, but when??? when will things get bette?? when will you get bette?? will i even be alive when that happens??

all you did was give me your love, life, happiness... all i did was to take and take... finally i took them all and jus dumped in away... i don blame you if you hate me... i will neve blame you if you feel like killing me... i'm sorry for the words i spoke, i'm sorry for the way i treated you, i'm sorry for all that i broke, i'm sorry for the way i think, i'm sorry for how much time i took to end this relationship.. the longer i wait, the more pain it will bring.... its my fault... it really is... i am sorry...

who says first love does not last only for guys??