I wish you can read this

Dear ismail,

well its been a few days since you talked to me.. our last convesation was when you asked me if i would choose you or titus if you were single and i said titus.. you didnt hear the reasons i had to say.. i stopped talking to you months ago, when i was talking to dinesh.. well, that went down the drain.. but anyways you vibered me when i was in sg, and i picked up before i realised it was you calling.. so from than on we talked over the phone and we met up a couple of times.. you hugged me.. and than there was the day me you and justin overnighted in your house.. things went a little out of hand first when you were screaming at me initially.. i saw the old ismail.. it kinda felt like dejavu.. us fighting.. you walking away, banging on things.. but instead of sajeev being around, there was justin.. anywayss we talked and let our emotions out.. you cried, i cried.. it felt bette after that.. we kinda let everything out.. and yes the tears i shed were you were true.. they were from deep down in my heart.. i felt everything.. but than i wipedd them off and came back to reality.. you have a gf.. and even if you dont, things will neve work out between us.. i remember the reasons why i broke up with you now.. and it will be stupid if we make the same mistake again.. yes you have changed for the bette and i have too.. but at certain times, i do see the old ismail in you.. maybe its just me.. maybe i bring out the bad side in you... i dont know.. when you broke up with your gf and called me up to tell me, did you really think i would be happy?? no.. i was not.. and i knew you would go back to her the next day or a few days later.. i even told you that.. but you told be with so much certainty that you wouldnt.. wad happened the next day? didnt you go back to her.. the reason why i chose titus is very simple.. he waited for me..yes be it many years, he still waited for me.. you told me that you waited for me, for a year but i waas with titus.. its becoz your friends were horrible.. did any one of them tried talkin to me? no.. the only person whom i trusted was sajeev and wad did he do? he cooked up stories abt you and told me and drove me further away from you... but that was not the case with titus.. his friends who were my friends, still kept contact with me.. they held on.. i held on.. although i cut all contacts with titus, there was always a possibility of us talking again which were created by his friends.. they were his true friends.. i treated titus worst than i ever did to you.. you treated me worst than any guy had treated me.. yes you still loved me.. you made me very happy, at the same time, you made me cry so much... if you say that you really still love me and want to be with me, wad are you doing with your gf? shouldnt you have broken up with her and come to me... i am not saying you should.. i am saying that, thatz how it works.. you dont have a gf, and at the same time tell me that you love me and that once you are single (which according to you, will happen soon) and than come to me.. i am not your backup plan or your gf isnt your satey net.. thatz not how love works.. you be with someone becoz you love them and want to be with them.. the reason why i chose titus is that simple.. he too has many gals coming after him.. even now he is talking to a few gals who constantly want to date him.. but is he dating them while waiting for me to make up my mind? no.. becoz the only person he waants to be with is me... thatz called love.. well.. you have stopped talking to me.. thatz good i guess.. now probably you can move on becoz i already have.. i have had my closure.. maybe now you can be sincere to your gf.. well all the best.. and i hope you dont do this again.. :)

yours once upon a time,

Shakthee