its day 4... its been 4 days since i have smoked.. and it is driving me insane.. i have come to the "why am i quitting" phase.. this is where i usually start asking why and for whom and i stopping cig.. wad do i gain from this, why am i putting myself through this torment.. and usually this is where i give up and go buy a pack of cigs.. and i am sooo close to doing that.. its constantly in my head..
just once stick is all i ask for.. jus 1.. i don wan the whole pack.. maybe 1 every 3 days.. that wouldnt be so bad right.. but if do buy a pack, i will def smoke it all in a week.. i cant control myself if its right there.. damn if only i have someone to control the pack for me..
why am i doing this?? for me.. the ans is for me.. i am getting older and i want ppl to see me the way i see myself and that is attainable if i quit smoking.. i don wan this filthy habit.. yea thatz the reason.. not for health.. i want to be a responsible adult who does not have bad habits.. i can do this..
but just once cig is not gonna harm.. i will smoke one stick than i wont for the next 3 days.. this way i will also be quitting right.. i mean you dont call a person who smokes a cig every 3 days to be addicted to smoking right..
why the hell did i smoke.. why i ask why!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
the sweet sweet smell of cig.. the intoxicating feeling when you take the first puff after such a long time.. i can almost feel it going down my lungs.. blood absorbing the nicotine.. pumping it through my veins.. oh the sweet sensation of dying cells and brain numbing effect.. how i yearn for you.. will we be united again once more? jus once more...
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